Saturday, October 21, 2023

Do not:

    I have quite a lot of experience receiving both solicited and unsolicited advice, whether it was part of a research I was doing or just told people about different goals. I've learned that, no matter how convincing of a talker a person is, it is best if I follow these personal "guidelines".

Do not take financial advice from those who are not doing very well themselves. They tend to present lots of ideas and seem like they know what they're talking about, but they are really just in debt all the time. Also, do not accept financial advice from someone who is doing good simply because they received an inheritance. It is good to inherit goods, but if someone else worked to build what they have and they never did anything, maybe it would be best to wait until they've accomplished something before giving advice to those who are trying to make it from scratch.

Do not accept maternal or parenting advice from women who do not have kids of their own. A lot of times, lack of empathy can come even from fellow moms. Some with easier pregnancies, who forget that not all pregnancies are the same. Some, with maybe more difficult ones that think everyone should suffer if they did. But it is usually those who don't have kids who try to lecture future moms, while they have zero experience with the hormonal fluctuations that can come with a pregnancy and what it does, the pains that can affect pregnant women like pelvic girdle pain that makes each step hurt and you cannot even sit for long. Discomfort makes people grumpy, more unproductive, depressed etc. So if you cannot help them with a good word, leave them alone at least. And YES, I am the one who signed up for it, which means I am also the one responsible to go through it as best as I can, avoid risks and stress, even if that means standing up to people sometimes. And also, yes, that talk is not always gonna be calm, because of said discomfort. However, it does not matter; prioritize yourself and your child.

Do not accept fitness and nutrition advice from people who are not and maybe never were fit/as fit as you want to get. Especially if you are looking for long-term results. It either clearly doesn't work, or they never followed their own advice so they cannot know what works well. While, of course, most body types, organisms, lifestyles etc. differ from one person to another, I tend to gravitate towards people who are a good example of what they preach.

Do not let malicious lurkers affect your mood. This mainly happens on social media - the ones that never interact/react positively to ANYTHING you post, ever, regardless of whether it's music, a selfie, a random picture, a meme, an artwork, a thought. Nothing! Logically, you would think someone keeps you in their list because they like you, your posts, feel like you have things in common. Not this species! They always only pop up to disagree with something, to criticize something or try to lecture you, pick an argument, be opinionated, etc. The weak character, even if, interestingly enough, you've always been cordial towards them. But yes, this says more about them than it does about you.

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