Tossing and turning in this puddle of blackened blood, I cannot find my peace. The certainty that I never will is crushing my bones and spits in my face. I lay helpless, left to mourn blood bonds and friendships.....to mourn everything that ever made me feel like I will never be alone again. These are the tools "fate" used to deceive me and, in my experience, it will keep it up until repulsion suffocates every trace of joy I had left.