Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Since I can relate to this book so well, I've been writing quotes from it, like I always do when I read a book and bump into the parts I consider most interesting. So I will quote some bits and pieces that reflect my thoughts quite perfectly, and will try to explain my views on them. They will be in random order by the way. First one:

"In the Bible, the word antichrist is only used as a description of people who don't believe in the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. He is not described as one satanic entity - as the beast of Revolution which many people believe - but as a person, any person, who deviates from the Christian orthodoxy. But through the years of myth-making and fear-sowing, Christianity metamorphosed antichrists into a single Antichrist, an apocalyptic villain and Christian bogeyman used to scare people much as Santa Claus is used to regulate Children's behaviour."

Why did this happen? Well...first of all, the very 'generation' of Christians that shaped the word above as to represent something negative, were supposedly good, sacred, holy and all that jazz. In reality, they control people through fear, so that they turn to this god, last but not least, for money. It's sheer terrorism really, people are weak and in their weakness, desperate enough to believe that there is an entity that will help them through anything. I say one of the reasons I don't believe in their god is because I can't see him. But I think that is exactly one reason why they do believe in him. They can't see him, which leaves them hope for his existence. People are not aware of their own (potential) power over themselves, in eachother even less (since people tend to care for themselves more than others care for them - if you are so unaware of yourself, others will care even less about you). So they complain that this world is hopeless, which leads them in the desperation of seeking some supernatural power and they know there is no real chance of disappointment since you can't see it, touch it. This is the worst part, that they don't realize it's exactly themselves who can control their own lives cause they are their own gods. Everyone is, and being aware of it is the first step to taking full advantage of the fact! Instead of wasting time praying to an imaginary friend and throwing money to the church thinking that will insure you a place in heaven (btw if god helps you unconditionally, why should you pay?), rather build up some self-awareness and make things happen for yourself. EVERYTHING is possible, you just have to dare to do what you stand for, dare to reach out and grab what you want. I for example am more and more convinced, by each day passing, that I can get anywhere I want, meet anyone I want just for the sake of a good conversation. Things always seemed to be coming to me as a result of my sheer existence and honesty in actions. I realized you can be somebody by just...being the untained self. If you are not a sheep or course, since in a flock of sheep, none is special really. And if you think I am the way I am just to call the attention of others upon me, you are wrong. It is the other way around, I have always been as I wanted and made my point and was glad if someone could relate to it, and felt good in my own skin despite critics and rotten tomatoes. I know it seems like I've come far from the main subject, but was saying this about myself mainly to underline the fact that you ARE capable of thinking for yourself if you want to. Regardless if it's about religion, taste in music, style, philosophy of life or anything. If you build yourself up as to adapt to others, to the flock, to the trendy kids in school because it is easier to deal with them than if they point fingers at you calling you a freak for being the way you are just submitting to what you don't want and by that you are giving them more power. I bet my kidneys that deep down they just do everything because they are cowards individually and need the acceptance of others for social survival. Isn't it better to be the freak you are and feel good in your own skin, not giving a fuck what they say (eventhough it can be hard sometimes, but it's worth it, trust me) and at the end of the day being proud of yourself for having an impenetrable individuality, succeeding through your own beliefs, rather than following along with the others, transforming to conform and feeling fake, selling your soul and betraying yourself? THINK. Boogie-men are only invented to impose you limits, but the only limits you have is the ones you create for yourself. Sadly most people are an easy prey for manipulation. Oh and plus if there really would be a boogie-man, I would prefer to be on it's side, rather than be on the positive side that is fake anyway (since the good is too boring and bored, so it makes much more effort to shun the evil side, evil is too busy being evil to care about preventing the good side to rise :P ). We all have a good and a bad side that are complementary, so why mask either of them? To conform? Nah. Conforming to the so-called good that mask their bad side means you'll do the same => fake, hiding all that until it explodes and when that happens, you will be an icon for evil and some influential public figure will be used as a scapegoat *wink wink*. So feel free to let out either of the two when you feel the need to..that is a part of being yourself. Repression is not a solution to anything, the more forbidden something is, the more you want it. THAT is what creates the real evil...

Sunday, January 16, 2011


Yes, again, this post will also be about something that pisses me off.
This time it's not religion, not discrimination, and so on. Na...This time it's about a different type of human error. I can't name it in one word, but...did it ever happen to you that someone just got mad at you, out of the blue, and they didn't want to tell you the reason? And even better, you didn't even know for sure if they are mad or not, you just noticed they are acting weird/mean/distant all of a sudden and if you ask them what's wrong, they say 'nothing' or just won't tell you. I noticed this happening a few times lately and I must say it pisses me off.
I am not really mature myself, and I don't want to be. But this attitude is more childish than anything.

I can't stress this enough: IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, JUST TELL ME. Have the guts to tell me what's bothering you. Some balls. Don't be cowards. I like to know things clearly, you are upset with me for some reason, GO AHEAD AND TELL ME. You know that saying 'we learn from our mistakes'. But if people keep holding grudges and hiding the reasons, nobody will ever learn anything about how they should be around certain people, or about themselves.
Okay, holding grudges, being rancorous and being mad are some stuff that are beyond me anyway, I hardly ever get to the point where I actually get mad, and I am not rancorous. I can't be rancorous, it's a useless waste of energy and nerves. I get over stuff, keeping my point of view on things. But people who get grumpy for absurd reasons and stay grumpy...meh, I can't understand them. Can't you just lay back and chill? Maybe what happened is not the other person's FAULT, maybe it's just lack of compatibility in the personality of the two, and you can't blame someone for that, so chill out and move on if something didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. Gosh!

I, for one, often get people mad at me with the simple fact of doing what I feel like. Well...that will not change, so if you can't accept what I am and what I do, you can fuck off. (and once you 'fucked off', means you are no longer part of my life really => you don't have the right to judge me. Or even take my name in vain, lol.) Honestly, I put myself before anyone else, and if I get an opportunity that I would like to grab, I will not let it slip away and sacrifice myself just to please others. This is also a way of filtering people. I never hesitate, to me it's more important to stay true to myself than to others (with all this, I am not talking about cheating, in relationships, by the way. I hate that more than anything. I am talking about things in general, mostly in friendships). I try to make the two embrace and work together, but when people want stuff from me that I am not willing to do, sorry. I think I've always been fair, though! I never made promises that I was less likely to be able to keep. I kept everything on the table, I wasn't sneaky, if I felt like refusing you, I did, if something didn't seem fair to me, I told you, if we were talking about some sort of responsability that I didn't think I could handle, I told you. So still, I don't see the reason for these grudge thingies. Others than your own frustration, of course. And that is not my fault, I cannot get into your head and fix you. The most I can do is advise you to face the facts and move on.

Maybe some of these few people feel like I have betrayed them, or just made up excuses. Let me tell you something, I don't waste my time making up excuses, I tell you everything as it is, like it or not. Why would you think I lied? Well, because maybe I told you my reasons then, and afterwards you might have seen the opposite happening or something, so you feel betrayed or whatever. Ok. Question: Have you ever heard of unexpected things? Opportunities that just show up, affect you in an unexpected way, making you actually want to grab them and go with the flow, forgetting about your earlier decision and arguments? Modifying your plans suddenly? And if you are a person that follows the heart, you will grab that oportunity if it feels right to you, even if it is in contradiction with your earlier decision. Of course, this will piss certain people off and they will feel betrayed, seeing the opposite of what you told them happening. Then of course they'll be grumpy, and if they are in this category of people that won't show what's on their mind, it's just terrific. You'll end up with people suddenly giving you mean looks and you don't even know why.

So, I will always do what I feel like, even if that won't please you. Sorry, but that's the way it is and always will be. And if you have any kind of problems or if anything bothers you, go ahead and tell me. Many of you should know by now that I almost never freak out, so...One of the worst problems in this world is lack of communication. If people would just talk about things, everything would be easier. So bring it on, cause I am fed up with drama queens (regardless of their gender).

P.s. Today was sunny