Sunday, January 16, 2011


Yes, again, this post will also be about something that pisses me off.
This time it's not religion, not discrimination, and so on. Na...This time it's about a different type of human error. I can't name it in one word, but...did it ever happen to you that someone just got mad at you, out of the blue, and they didn't want to tell you the reason? And even better, you didn't even know for sure if they are mad or not, you just noticed they are acting weird/mean/distant all of a sudden and if you ask them what's wrong, they say 'nothing' or just won't tell you. I noticed this happening a few times lately and I must say it pisses me off.
I am not really mature myself, and I don't want to be. But this attitude is more childish than anything.

I can't stress this enough: IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, JUST TELL ME. Have the guts to tell me what's bothering you. Some balls. Don't be cowards. I like to know things clearly, you are upset with me for some reason, GO AHEAD AND TELL ME. You know that saying 'we learn from our mistakes'. But if people keep holding grudges and hiding the reasons, nobody will ever learn anything about how they should be around certain people, or about themselves.
Okay, holding grudges, being rancorous and being mad are some stuff that are beyond me anyway, I hardly ever get to the point where I actually get mad, and I am not rancorous. I can't be rancorous, it's a useless waste of energy and nerves. I get over stuff, keeping my point of view on things. But people who get grumpy for absurd reasons and stay grumpy...meh, I can't understand them. Can't you just lay back and chill? Maybe what happened is not the other person's FAULT, maybe it's just lack of compatibility in the personality of the two, and you can't blame someone for that, so chill out and move on if something didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. Gosh!

I, for one, often get people mad at me with the simple fact of doing what I feel like. Well...that will not change, so if you can't accept what I am and what I do, you can fuck off. (and once you 'fucked off', means you are no longer part of my life really => you don't have the right to judge me. Or even take my name in vain, lol.) Honestly, I put myself before anyone else, and if I get an opportunity that I would like to grab, I will not let it slip away and sacrifice myself just to please others. This is also a way of filtering people. I never hesitate, to me it's more important to stay true to myself than to others (with all this, I am not talking about cheating, in relationships, by the way. I hate that more than anything. I am talking about things in general, mostly in friendships). I try to make the two embrace and work together, but when people want stuff from me that I am not willing to do, sorry. I think I've always been fair, though! I never made promises that I was less likely to be able to keep. I kept everything on the table, I wasn't sneaky, if I felt like refusing you, I did, if something didn't seem fair to me, I told you, if we were talking about some sort of responsability that I didn't think I could handle, I told you. So still, I don't see the reason for these grudge thingies. Others than your own frustration, of course. And that is not my fault, I cannot get into your head and fix you. The most I can do is advise you to face the facts and move on.

Maybe some of these few people feel like I have betrayed them, or just made up excuses. Let me tell you something, I don't waste my time making up excuses, I tell you everything as it is, like it or not. Why would you think I lied? Well, because maybe I told you my reasons then, and afterwards you might have seen the opposite happening or something, so you feel betrayed or whatever. Ok. Question: Have you ever heard of unexpected things? Opportunities that just show up, affect you in an unexpected way, making you actually want to grab them and go with the flow, forgetting about your earlier decision and arguments? Modifying your plans suddenly? And if you are a person that follows the heart, you will grab that oportunity if it feels right to you, even if it is in contradiction with your earlier decision. Of course, this will piss certain people off and they will feel betrayed, seeing the opposite of what you told them happening. Then of course they'll be grumpy, and if they are in this category of people that won't show what's on their mind, it's just terrific. You'll end up with people suddenly giving you mean looks and you don't even know why.

So, I will always do what I feel like, even if that won't please you. Sorry, but that's the way it is and always will be. And if you have any kind of problems or if anything bothers you, go ahead and tell me. Many of you should know by now that I almost never freak out, so...One of the worst problems in this world is lack of communication. If people would just talk about things, everything would be easier. So bring it on, cause I am fed up with drama queens (regardless of their gender).

P.s. Today was sunny


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